overeducated & understimulated

"if you're going through hell, keep going …" -winston churchill

My First Migraine September 16, 2014

Filed under: Uncategorized — Aerin Rainey @ 5:21 pm

So, I have curly hair.  I blow dry it every day with a huge diffuser while in the position commonly known as the “forward fold” in yoga.  I like it, because I stretch my hamstrings and maximize my curls at the same time.  Two days ago, I was cheerfully bending and blow drying and my hair turned out better than ever.  I smiled at myself in the mirror.  The sun was shining.  The kids were excited about starting their swimming lessons.  My husband was even helping pack food and pool necessities!  It was looking like a great day.

On my way downstairs, I started feeling a little funny.  Dizzy, maybe.  Also, I felt like I couldn’t see anything except what was directly in front of my face on the right-hand side.  I thought, I should really eat something. 

In the kitchen, I found myself grabbing on to countertops to stay upright and unable to resist the urge to cover my eyes with my hands.  Severe pain stabbed through my head.  It was debilitating, but it was also kind of weird and far away.  I popped a couple of Ultra Tylenols, sat at the kitchen table, and let my husband bring me some food.  A Clif bar, if you must know.  My daughter brought me a glass of water after I motioned to her and managed to croak out something about Water … please.

I soon felt nauseated. I really wanted to lie down.

But that would ruin my hair.

So I stayed in the kitchen chair until I had to admit defeat: I was not going to be heading to the pool.  Charlie and the girls left.  I went back to bed.  I tried not to move much.  This, like my blow drying method, was for a dual purpose: the lessening of nausea and severe head pain PLUS (maybe more important) less curl crushing.

After I started feeling better only an hour later, I started reading up on migraines.  I knew it was a migraine because my mom had migraines a lot when I was a kid.  I discovered on webmd.com that the symptoms of migraines include:

  • A brief period of depression, irritability, anxiety, moodiness, and decreased appetite as much as 24 hours before the onset of a headache
  • Symptoms of an aura an hour or less before head pain starts
  • A severe, throbbing headache, sometimes concentrated on only one side of the head or around one eye lasting between four and 72 hours
  • A headache that worsens with exertion
  • Nausea and vomiting
  • Extreme sensitivity to light, so painful to the eyes and head that it requires retreat to a darkened room
  • Extreme sensitivity to sound
  • Arm or leg weakness, difficulty speaking, or confusion
  • Severe exhaustion, confusion, or moodiness — sometimes lasting several days after the headache resolves

I definitely had a migraine.  I had suffered all of those symptoms.  So then I looked up the causes.  One of them in particular resonated.

“Changes in hormones and hormonal levels (such as menstrual periods, pregnancy, and perimenopause)”

Perimenopause?!?!

And that is exactly how far I have processed that thought.

 

Be the Change You Want To See In Your Blog … September 15, 2014

Filed under: Writing — Aerin Rainey @ 10:47 am

Why is blogging so hard?  I’ve been trying to get this blog going for years now.  It’s still woefully unpopulated.

I can immediately think of three reasons why:

  1. I am really quite busy.
  2. I can’t make my blog page look the way I want it to look and it is so time-consuming trying to work it out through help menus and experimentation.
  3. I can’t think of anything to write.

I guess none of these reasons is really a major stumbling block. Schedule in some time, get over your perfectionist tendencies and just write.

It’s not a motivation or inspiration problem — it’s a discipline problem. Consistency and routine will solve this problem.  Taking my ego out of the equation will also help a lot.  By ego, I mean that judgey part of your mind that’s always working to keep you stuck in a rut.

So here I am, actually writing on my blog — how long should this post be?  Does it matter?  It will be done when it’s done.  Or when I run out of time.  So, how is it going to look?  I guess it doesn’t matter that much.  I’ll click “Publish” and it will stream into my site.  Worrying about the snazzy factor is definitely putting the horse before the cart.  Gotta have some words to present before designing the presentation.  So what to write about?  Well, I guess this is a bit of a stream of consciousness and the main subject is a bit boring.  Next time, I will focus on something that may be interesting to more people than just me!  At least I’ve set the bar pretty low …

I am hereby committing to stop making excuses, get in the good daily habits that include writing in this forum, and start being kind to myself so that I don’t put the brakes on before I even start rolling.